i guess that makes it day 23 or so? i dunno... and right now, i don't care to count it.
anyway, things are going well here (aside from being sick... blasted public school system). i have my destination and the general direction in which to head. now i just need the route to take. the way i see it, there are 3 options laid out in front of me...
1) bible college. where? i dunno.
2) i stay where i am and am trained up in a "less conventional" way. that is, it's basically on the job training. i continue on as a leader/teacher in my current youth group, continue studying, and one day, it'll happen.
3) God decides to take me out of the desert and train me elsewhere. where? i dunno. i'm just leaving the door open.
so that's basically where i am right now. i know this question will be answered in due time as well. right now, i'm just completely stoked over the fact that we're one week away. 7 days... and i can have her back. that brings an instant smile to my face. after this long, trying month, i know it's been completely worth it, but i am SO ready for it to be over.
maybe the most valuable lesson of all - priorities. get them in order.
later.
matt
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
IT HAPPENED!!!!!
you would not believe how completely fired up i am at this very moment. finally, through some very encouraging, convicting and Spirit-filled words from a pastor, i have my calling in life.
my life, from the point forward, is God's to have. i have made a vow to him to be completely in His Perfect Will. i am dying to my flesh. i no longer desire the things of this world. my life, from now until the day He returns for me, is going to be lived as an evangelist. i feel my calling in life is to become a youth pastor. how do i go about it? i have no stinking clue... but that's my worry. God has it all planned out for me; all i have to do is wait and watch His hand move.
i feel an amazing burden lifted off my chest... i feel like the clouds of my mind are gone... i can think clearly, i can see clearly... it's absolutely amazing.
now it's time to start my journey.
later.
matt
my life, from the point forward, is God's to have. i have made a vow to him to be completely in His Perfect Will. i am dying to my flesh. i no longer desire the things of this world. my life, from now until the day He returns for me, is going to be lived as an evangelist. i feel my calling in life is to become a youth pastor. how do i go about it? i have no stinking clue... but that's my worry. God has it all planned out for me; all i have to do is wait and watch His hand move.
i feel an amazing burden lifted off my chest... i feel like the clouds of my mind are gone... i can think clearly, i can see clearly... it's absolutely amazing.
now it's time to start my journey.
later.
matt
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Day 12
sooo... a week later, i finally decided to gete at this again.
it's now day 12 of the fast, and i can honestly say that this is incredibly difficult. i'm not going to go all melodramatic and say that this is the hardest thing i've ever had to do, because i don't think it is; this is, however, a trial of my will power and devotion to God, as well as my devotion to my beautiful girlfriend.
i still haven't heard anything as far as my path in life, and that's really frustrating. i feel like i'm doing something wrong or maybe i'm just not listening hard enough. it may sounds strange, but i almost feel like i'm failing at fasting... hahaha. but seriously, i'm going to press on, continue the fast, continue praying and seeking after God, in hopes of an answer. eventually, it'll happen.
on the drum line front - our marching band qualified for SCJA State Championships last saturday (on a technicality, but we're still going!). needless to say, the kids were incredibly excited. we have a lot of work to do over the next week and a half, so wish us luck and i'll let you know what happens.
later.
matt
reading:
Bible.
listening:
Atlantis EP - Jonathan Steingard
New Surrender - Anberlin
it's now day 12 of the fast, and i can honestly say that this is incredibly difficult. i'm not going to go all melodramatic and say that this is the hardest thing i've ever had to do, because i don't think it is; this is, however, a trial of my will power and devotion to God, as well as my devotion to my beautiful girlfriend.
i still haven't heard anything as far as my path in life, and that's really frustrating. i feel like i'm doing something wrong or maybe i'm just not listening hard enough. it may sounds strange, but i almost feel like i'm failing at fasting... hahaha. but seriously, i'm going to press on, continue the fast, continue praying and seeking after God, in hopes of an answer. eventually, it'll happen.
on the drum line front - our marching band qualified for SCJA State Championships last saturday (on a technicality, but we're still going!). needless to say, the kids were incredibly excited. we have a lot of work to do over the next week and a half, so wish us luck and i'll let you know what happens.
later.
matt
reading:
Bible.
listening:
Atlantis EP - Jonathan Steingard
New Surrender - Anberlin
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Day 5
well... nothing much to report here, actually.
America just elected Barack Obama is President. needless to say, i'm a bit more than worried. and before anybody flips out, i couldn't care less about the color of his skin. COULDN'T CARE LESS. what scares me are statements like "we don't know what way he'll take the presidency, because we don't know who he is. we'll find out when he's in the Oval Office." if he were black and actually had solid views and good ideas, i'd vote for him. the fact that we don't actually know this man, but elected him anyway scares the living crap out of me.
really, America? really? I thought we had more brains than that.
on the upside, i haven't had too much time to think about the girlfriend... i've been incredibly busy over the last couple of days. i finally got direction on my teaching for tomorrow night. we're going to be talking about pride. fun, right?
later.
matt
America just elected Barack Obama is President. needless to say, i'm a bit more than worried. and before anybody flips out, i couldn't care less about the color of his skin. COULDN'T CARE LESS. what scares me are statements like "we don't know what way he'll take the presidency, because we don't know who he is. we'll find out when he's in the Oval Office." if he were black and actually had solid views and good ideas, i'd vote for him. the fact that we don't actually know this man, but elected him anyway scares the living crap out of me.
really, America? really? I thought we had more brains than that.
on the upside, i haven't had too much time to think about the girlfriend... i've been incredibly busy over the last couple of days. i finally got direction on my teaching for tomorrow night. we're going to be talking about pride. fun, right?
later.
matt
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Day 3
okay... so writing every day obviously didn't work out too tell. life called. things happen. but, thankfully, it's only been a few days, so i thought i'd give a quick update.
today was pretty hard... i don't know that this was really defined earlier, but when i said we were fasting from each other (the girlfriend and i), i meant that in every sense. we have had no contact with each other since last thursday (oct. 30th), and it will continue until the end of the month (you wouldn't eat crackers or "just a little bit" of food if you were fasting that, right?).
anyway, i saw her at church today (which was inevitable...), and that was pretty rough. it's hard to see someone you love so much and have absolutely no contact with her. i just wanted to run up to her, give her a huge hug and let her know that everything is going to be okay... but i couldn't. i literally had to look and walk the other way. and that's a really crappy feeling.
on the upside, i had a great time at my men's Bible study tonight, and i have a couple of friends praying for the both of us, so i know everything is going to be okay.
heard a great message this morning, too. who knew david vs. goliath had so many more personal applications?
and i also have something else to add to the prayer list... writing. not so much randomly, but going to school for it. i actually enjoy writing (i write for a sports website during baseball season) and i think it's something i could get in to. for now, i'll add that to the list and continue to seek God's will for my life (since that's the point of this whole month).
later.
matt
reading:
Bible - God
13 Ways To Ruin Your Life - Jarrod Jones
listening:
New Surrender - Anberlin
The End Is Not The End - House of Heroes
watching:
Sportscenter
Boise State football (number 10 baby!!!!)
Heroes
today was pretty hard... i don't know that this was really defined earlier, but when i said we were fasting from each other (the girlfriend and i), i meant that in every sense. we have had no contact with each other since last thursday (oct. 30th), and it will continue until the end of the month (you wouldn't eat crackers or "just a little bit" of food if you were fasting that, right?).
anyway, i saw her at church today (which was inevitable...), and that was pretty rough. it's hard to see someone you love so much and have absolutely no contact with her. i just wanted to run up to her, give her a huge hug and let her know that everything is going to be okay... but i couldn't. i literally had to look and walk the other way. and that's a really crappy feeling.
on the upside, i had a great time at my men's Bible study tonight, and i have a couple of friends praying for the both of us, so i know everything is going to be okay.
heard a great message this morning, too. who knew david vs. goliath had so many more personal applications?
and i also have something else to add to the prayer list... writing. not so much randomly, but going to school for it. i actually enjoy writing (i write for a sports website during baseball season) and i think it's something i could get in to. for now, i'll add that to the list and continue to seek God's will for my life (since that's the point of this whole month).
later.
matt
reading:
Bible - God
13 Ways To Ruin Your Life - Jarrod Jones
listening:
New Surrender - Anberlin
The End Is Not The End - House of Heroes
watching:
Sportscenter
Boise State football (number 10 baby!!!!)
Heroes
Friday, October 31, 2008
The Experiment
okay okay... that's a really bad title for this, but essentially, that's what my next month is going to be.
last night, my girlfriend (of over 3 years) and i decided to take a one month fast from each other, in order to seek God's will for our lives individually as well as a couple. we are not broken up, nor are we planning on breaking up... this is just something we felt we needed to do, so we could properly seek the will of the Lord. neither of us wanted to be a distraction to the other during this important time in our lives, so we came to this agreement.
so here i am... day one. i've only been at this for 5 1/2 hours, and this is already really difficult. i've had to stop myself from calling or texting her at least 15 times. all i want to do right now is reassure her that i do love her and that i'm really excited for what this next month is going to do for us, but i'm sure she is aware of it. so, i trust that God is taking care of her, and i continue on with my day.
on the bright side, it's day one and i already feel like God is speaking to me. this morning, for the first time in entirely too long, i willingly and prayerfully got into my Bible, and i feel like God really placed a calling on me. i read the last chapter of 2 Timothy, where Paul exhorts Timothy to "do the work of an evangalist", "preach the Word" and "fulfill (his) ministry". i really felt like God was speaking directly to me through this. now if i could only peg down what my ministry is....
anyway, i'm going to try to write down my thoughts and what i'm dealing with every day during this next month, sort of as a journal... something i can refer back to and track the progress of my heart and walk with God.
so there you have it.... day one.
later.
matt
reading:
Bible - God
13 Ways to Ruin Your Life - Jarrod Jones
listening:
Mighty To Save - Hillsong (especially "From The Inside Out"... amazing song.)
Cosmos - The Send
Vheissu - Thrice
last night, my girlfriend (of over 3 years) and i decided to take a one month fast from each other, in order to seek God's will for our lives individually as well as a couple. we are not broken up, nor are we planning on breaking up... this is just something we felt we needed to do, so we could properly seek the will of the Lord. neither of us wanted to be a distraction to the other during this important time in our lives, so we came to this agreement.
so here i am... day one. i've only been at this for 5 1/2 hours, and this is already really difficult. i've had to stop myself from calling or texting her at least 15 times. all i want to do right now is reassure her that i do love her and that i'm really excited for what this next month is going to do for us, but i'm sure she is aware of it. so, i trust that God is taking care of her, and i continue on with my day.
on the bright side, it's day one and i already feel like God is speaking to me. this morning, for the first time in entirely too long, i willingly and prayerfully got into my Bible, and i feel like God really placed a calling on me. i read the last chapter of 2 Timothy, where Paul exhorts Timothy to "do the work of an evangalist", "preach the Word" and "fulfill (his) ministry". i really felt like God was speaking directly to me through this. now if i could only peg down what my ministry is....
anyway, i'm going to try to write down my thoughts and what i'm dealing with every day during this next month, sort of as a journal... something i can refer back to and track the progress of my heart and walk with God.
so there you have it.... day one.
later.
matt
reading:
Bible - God
13 Ways to Ruin Your Life - Jarrod Jones
listening:
Mighty To Save - Hillsong (especially "From The Inside Out"... amazing song.)
Cosmos - The Send
Vheissu - Thrice
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
