Update

ah, the unemployed life... full of excitement, joy and a certain nervousness that comes along with the everyday unknowns.

yeah right.

life hasn't been too terribly exciting for me over the past month. i've been at home most of the time, sitting and thinking about what to do next. i had a talk with my pastor last night, and he said he wants to bring me on or around july 1st. he said he's going to re-evaluate everything then, and hopefully, Lord willing, if everything keeps heading in the direction that it is, i'll be rought back on, with more duties than before. basically, i'll be taking over some cleaning/opening & closing/random upkeep, along with the radio station gig. so really, i'll be back with the station and be a part-time janitor, which is perfectly cool with me.

this news comes at a great time, as i have had absolutely no progress in the slightest on the job front. i put in applications to a bunch of places and heard nothing in return. i didn't even get a call telling me they weren't interested... it's was like my applications never even existed. weird.

clearly, God has other plans for me. whether those plans are going back to work with the church or not, i'm not sure. i believe that's the way He's guiding me, and i really hope it is. i enjoyed that job... i never really woke up and dreaded going to work, and that was something that always made me smile. it was a pleasure working with and getting to know the other guys, as well. i hope that's where i'm headed.

other than that, nothing has been happening. i've been enjoying the time off... i've been able to go to an Angels game, spend more time with my girlfriend and i got to play with my cousin's band a few times, which was amazing. i'm still trying to convince them to kick out their drummer or move him to keys so i can play... :)

later.
matt

another year has passed...

so it's officially my birthday today, and i am now 20 years old. i know, it's amazing.

but seriously, what is amazing is how much things have changed in a year. i'm at a fun time in my life right now. at this time last year, i was living on my own up in boise, idaho while going to school at boise state university. i was in a different place mentally and spiritually, and i was at a time where i didn't know what was going to come up next.

i take back what i said... it's amazing how some things can change, yet others don't. i've had a weird feeling the last few weeks that God has something new planned for my life. i don't know yet what that is, or if it's actually going to happen, so i guess you could say that that part of my life is the same. but one thing i do know... i am a different person this year. God has really begun to take hold of my life as i have begun to surrender it more and more. i have gotten to the point where i know in my heart and my head that i don't want control over my life anymore. i was screwing up my life while i was in control, and i know that.

i guess this is just me reflecting on the past year, and standing (well, actually i'm sitting) in awe of the work that God can do in a person's life. He's done great things for me, and i will continue to rely on Him for my guidance and my direction in whatever comes next.

later.
matt

begin - the send

"You called my name
I heard it echo days and days
But still I turned away from you
I've walked a thousand miles

But I want change

I am over feeling like I am all alone
So meet me where I am
Just so I can begin with you again

You called my name
A sound so sweet, I can't erase
But still I hid away from you
Until that sound had drowned

Now I need change

I can't deny that I'm lost alone
And I need to deny who I've been
To begin with you again"

worship

why is it that worship nights at churchs are ignored? why is that that musical worship is seen as something that's there for personal enjoyment, and it's less important than the teaching that follows it?

in case you didn't know, we have a worship night coming up tonight, so that's where the thought comes from. i don't have too much to say on the subject... it's more of a ponderance (is that even a word?)

it upsets me sometimes that musical worship is seen as something that's there just because it has to be, and it's frustrating to see it treated as such - treated as though it's "unimportant" or even "unnecessary". i don't want to glorify our worship team, and i don't want to be in the limelight, but God calls us to worship Him, together and individually, through songs of praise. it is a big deal, and it's something that should be more valued than it actually is. spending quiet (or loud) time with God praising Him gets ignored - it gets thrown in the backseat. i'm telling you, it's an awesome experiece that we should not go without.

we should be putting more focus on worship than we are.

later.
matt

questioning the old

"Then these three men ceased answering Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes. But the anger of Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram burned; against Job his anger burned because he justified himself before God. And his anger burned against his three friends because they had found no answer, and yet had condemned Job. Now Elihu had waited to speak to Job because they were years older than he. And when Elihu saw that there was no answer in the mouth of the three men his anger burned.
So Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite spoke out and said, 'I am young in years and you are old; Therefore I was shy and afraid to tell you what I think. I thought age should speak, And increased years should teach wisdom. But it is a spirit in man, And the breath of the Almighty gives them understanding. The abundant {in years} may not be wise, Nor may elders understand justice.'"
------Job 32:1-9 (NASB)

so my girlfriend brought up an interesting point tonight, and it's something that i've always recognized, but never really considered. age and experience comes in handy in life, and it always is a valuable trait to obtain, but nowhere is it stated that these qualities are a necessity for knowledge. i value the experience and knowledge of people that are in charge (of me as well as in general), but i'm starting to become weary of being ignored because of my youth and "inexperience".
i'm not bitter about this, and i am not in any way pointing fingers at anybody in specific. i am just... suddenly enlightened, for lack of a better term.
i know that God has a plan for my life, and i also know that He has given me certain gifts, two of those, i believe, are understanding and knowledge. i don't say this to brag or boast in any way; it's just what i believe. again, i'm just becoming weary and a bit upset for being looked down upon because i don't have "life experience" or because "i haven't been there yet".
you know, God has given me the gift of understanding, and this comes into play with the subject at hand. i understand why i am overlooked, and i respect the opinions of those doing the overlooking. but at the same time, there's something inside of me that just wants to scream out, "hey! listen to what i have to say!!! just because i'm young doesn't mean i don't have a brain!"
there's been a few things that have been done recently that have been done against my... better judgement (again, for lack of a better term). i was upset at the time, because i know deep down in my heart that those decisions were most likeley the wrong ones made, all because i was ignored because of my youth.
the youth of this nation (high school to college age) have so much to offer the older generation, yet they are constantly ignored for no reason other than the stubborn-ness and narrow minded-ness of that older generation.
people... if you are young, don't give up.

"Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe."
------1 Timothy 4:12 (NASB)

if you are older, than i encourage you, take in account and consideration the thoughts of the youthful generation. listen to what we have to say... you may actually learn something. God uses people, other than the older crowd, to convey His will and His words.
the sooner this is recognized and embraced by everyone, the better off i think we'll be.

later.
matt

in case you were wondering

the show went really well. we had a really good time... well, i did anyway. i'll post a link to a video of one of the songs later, because i can't post the actual video.

lots of fun.

early start on the morrow, so i'm out.

later.
matt

as promised

we're leaving in like 5 minutes to head over to the coffee shop. i'm nervous... i'm not too sure why, but i'm nervous. maybe because it's my first "show". i dunno. should be pretty exciting, so come on out if you can!

i guess that's about it. can't think of much of anything else to say. i'm pulling for the Halos to make a comeback tonight... stupid Mariners.

later.
matt

quick thoughts before bed

we went and checked out the coffee shop that we'll be playing out tomorrow... it should be pretty sweet. rather intimate, but still awesome.
there were a bunch of high school kids hanging out, which was cool to see; i just hope they'll be back for our little show.
by the way, i'm really starting to get tired of high school kids thinking they're cool because they listen to the beatles. actually, i think i'm getting tired of stupid trends (darn you "across the universe"). the beatles are a trend. we know. get over it.

went to ihop for a late dinner (i barely move, for you gaffigan fans). got an egg and bacon cheeseburger. delicious.

i'm going to bed. i had a long week... late nights and early mornings + work = no fun para me.

i'll give you some thoughts in the morning and/or right before we leave for the show.

later.
matt